No More Sluts!

I saw a preview for the new Gerard Butler movie called The Ugly Truth. It seems entertaining in a "he's such a gorgeous rogue" kind of way. I'll bet Gerard will do a bang up job as that guy. As a matter of fact, I'll bet Gerard Butler is that guy. That's okay. I don't want to give the impression that there is anything I don't appreciate about Gerard. Nope, I think it's fair to say that I admire pretty much everything about him.

Therein lies the problem. He seems roguish. He's definitely ridiculously beautiful. And charming. And ornery. Put that all together and that spells heartbreak for many many women in his wake. All this and never been married at 38 years old? I think it's a safe assumption that Mr. Butler is a womanizer.

Good for him, and the millions of hunky manly men just like him. You know, the one's who are unattainable for any length of time for any woman, no matter what calibar lady she is. She could be an underwear model brain surgeon and only rate a passing blip on his radar. Still we, as the nurturing egg bearers, forgive them. It's our lot in life. Damn those hormones!

My point is this: we have wholly accepted those beefy scoundrels as they are, beautifully flawed. So why oh why do they not extend the same courtesy to the more *ahem* sexually zealous of us female counterparts? When any woman displays a healthy appetite for random, numerous partners, they are branded whores, harlots, sluts, skanks, tramps, loose, morally bankrupt and so on. The sad part is, it's not just men who brand women so, it's other women too!

I don't accept this, not at all. We should stand together and support one another's choice to monogamize or serialize just as men do. The first step is to let those hurtful misnomers fall out of use. No more whores. No more harlots or sluts!

From now on, let us be known as MANIZERS (minus the woe)!

Master Groove Hot List - Week 4

The Voice. The Chairman of the Board. Ole' Blue Eyes.

Whatever nickname you know him by probably indicates which era in the enduring career of Frank Sinatra that you became aware of him. In His Way: The Unauthorized Biography of Frank Sinatra, I read that when he was singing with Tommy Dorsey's orchestra, Sinatra was mesmerized by Dorsey's breath control while playing the trombone. He relentlessly shadowed Dorsey to learn from him how to control his breathing to incorporate it into his singing. Frank even practiced breath holding underwater to elongate the time he could hold a note.

Of all the wonderful songs crooned by Sinatra, the pinnacle for me is 'Old Man River'. I simply cannot resist being swept along by his voice on the heart breaking journey of the lyrics. The command and control of his voice pulls me in every time I hear Old Man River. This is one of the rare songs that elicits such a reaction from me that I cry every time I hear Sinatra sing it. His rendition is so impeccable that I am forced to feel the emotion intended by the original writer. When Sinatra gets to the crescendo "I'm tired of living, but I'm scared of dying. And old man river, he just keeps rollin' along", the tears, they come.

So, no matter what you may think of Frank Sinatra the man, you gotta hand it over: That is power.

Please Take This Advice From Myself

Okay, let the Grammar Police commence the citations.

I work in a professional setting. You would think that in a professional setting people would be savvy enough to send out a grammatically correct email or memo. If you'd think that, you'd be wrong.

I see the misuse of many words and phrases, but the one that really gets under my skin is the misuse of the word myself. I see sentences being punished by the misuse of this word daily. I usually make fun of the perpetrator as if they were an uneducated dolt and then move on. However, last week someone very high up in our corporation sent a memo that contained a glaring mistake to all employees. Well, it was a glaring mistake to me. It went something like this (as part of the salutation):

"If anyone has any questions, please feel free to contact Ms. Persons Name or myself."

Oh, how rich! Oddly enough, no one else (to my knowledge) noticed it. That's because the majority of people think this is proper grammar!

I didn't know the exact name of the offense that had been committed, but common sense - and having the rudimentary knowledge required to break down a sentence - told me that this is not right! So, I was on a mission to put a name to the horrible ignorance that accosted me daily.

After a google search that took me all of, oh, 1 minute, I found this intriguing article: http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/myself-grammar.aspx

An enlightening explanation offered up by the Grammar Girl site is this:

"Digging into the topic a little deeper, myself is what's called a reflexive pronoun. That can be hard to remember, but just think about looking into a mirror and seeing your reflection. You'd say, “I see myself in the mirror.” You see your reflection, and myself is a reflexive pronoun.

Other reflexive pronouns include himself, herself, yourself, itself, and themselves. A reflexive pronoun is always the object of a sentence; it can never be the subject. Grammar Girl has talked about it before, but a subject is the one doing something in a sentence, and the object is the one having something done to it. If I step on Squiggly, I am the subject and Squiggly is the object."

So, now I had the answer. Quit misusing the REFLEXIVE PRONOUN!! When I run across this mistake in the future, and I will, I can incorporate the words 'reflexive pronoun' into my annoyed rant.

I also believe I know why so many people are want to misuse this poor little word. Of course, the answer to this one can't be found by googling. Mere speculation on my part. For some reason, people are afraid of the word 'me'. Like, they think it sounds stupid or improper to use 'me' in a sentence. Well, get it through your craniums, people, me is a WORD and it is one because sometimes it's correct to use it. Let's all say it together: "Me. Me me me. ME!" There, feel better? It sounds just fine to say it. Get used to it friends.

I feel better now. Hope you all enjoyed my mini-rant and please take it with a grain of salt. My overall mood is one of cajoling.

If you have a similar story to share and aren't offended at all, please feel free to contact me. Any one else better contact myself.

Master Groove Hit List - Week 3

I've been painting little figurines all day, and I do mean all day, for my Mom to give to her sisters at their monthly luncheon and I'm exhausted. So please forgive my pithy post!

I've had this next entry into the Master Groove list on my mind here lately and I think my favorite song by him is more than worthy of making the list.

Michael Bublé did a remake of Feeling Good, a song written by Anthony Newley and Leslie Bricusse for the 1965 musical The Roar of the Greasepaint—the Smell of the Crowd (thanks, Wikipedia). Although a few have attempted this wonderfully soulful song, I don't believe any before Buble has put the umph into it like Michael did. I kid you not, when I hear the first few cords of Michael's Feeling Good, my heart speeds up in anticipation of the amazing lyrical, vocal and melodical ride I'm about to go on.
So here's to that categorically cool (and cute, too!) Canadian crooner, Michael Bublé!

(FYI the official video has been removed from youtube because of alleged copywrite infringement. That's too bad because it's a really amazing video. Alas, here's a live version which is, of course, incredible too. But to hear the recorded version, please check out the Master Groove Hit List in the right side navigation of this page.)

My Stars are Crossed?

I am by no means an expert on astrology. As a matter of fact, I can say with certainty that I know almost nothing about it. So that makes what I'm about to say have even more weight. I think that the stars alignment has a bearing on my life. It's a subtle thing, but I notice like a couple times a year that I'm not very popular among the small group of people that I know. The response to me runs the gamut from mild hostility to ennui. This phenomenon lasts around a month and then passes. I wish I knew more about astrology so I could understand what is happening to make this occur.

This time it started about a week ago so I have 2 - 3 weeks left of it. I notice it online as I get utterly ignored, my comments are disregarded too. In the physical world, I notice it because I work at an information systems helpdesk. If you ever want to get a taste of how shitty people can act, work a helpdesk phone. Usually the majority of people are very nice, with buttholes interspersed. But, right now I notice even people who are always nice being rude or snide. Mostly to me.

I don't want to sound like a whiner, cause I really don't care too much about the poopy attitudes cause I know it'll pass soon. I was just curious to know why this happens to me.

I did a search online, trying to find the most dumbed down explanation I could. I searched my horoscope and this is the first one I came across, so I think I'm on to something:

"The powerful Full Moon Eclipse in your sign can explode onto the scene, stressing your relationships and temporarily turning your life upside down. You know what you want now and if anyone inadvertently stands in your way, you could prematurely go on the offense without even realizing what you have done. Keep in mind that you don't have to express every little thing you feel."

So, it's not all in my mind! At least now I know not to confront anyone or bitch about it. I believe I will have to do some in depth research to even touch the surface of what is going on here. I'll keep you posted as to what I find. For now, I can take comfort in the fact that my dog loves me no matter what.

Master Groove Hot List - Week 2

There is a constant sound track to my life playing in my head. Sometimes it's very loud and prominent when I'm feeling feisty (Call Me When You're Sober - Evanescence), other times it subtly offers background atmosphere (Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley) or really rocks my world when I'm profoundly epiphanizing (Just Like Heaven - The Cure).

But lately there has been a magnetic, beautiful free spirited girl that is really defining who I am as a listener and inspiring the artist in me like no other. It's Sia Furler. This crazy, tell-it-like-it-is Australian gal whose heartbreakingly poignant voice haunts me. I'd be way remiss to not only include her on my Master Groove Hot List but to sprinkle her in many times.

I'll start off with a song that has inspired a pivotal scene in the graphic novel I'm writing. Sia embodies freedom and living life to the fullest without regret. And it shines through in her music.

I've chosen Day Too Soon as Sia's 1st entry onto this list. But know that any song of hers would be a super choice. Yes, she's that good. Please enjoy my week 2 entry onto the Master Groove Hot List:

Click for Day Too Soon. (Sorry embedding disabled)

Visit Sia's website here.

Master Groove Hot List - Week 1

Hey all you lovely readers! I was puttering around the kitchen this morning when from the radio came one of the hippest, most melodiest songs to ever be crooned from a velvet throated master.

Lou Rawls serenaded me digitally from across the airwaves. 'You'll Never Find Another Love' is my favorite song by the late Mr. Rawls and I thought right then it'd be criminal not to share it with you today. At that moment my brain said 'There's a ton of sexy voiced daddies (and mommas) out there that deserve some play'. That's when I got the bright idea to weekly post my favorites to this blog. I'll also be adding them to the Master Groove playlist over on the sidebar, so keep checking back as the master grooves pile up week after week!

I one time had heard on the local radio station that Mr. Rawls was playing near where I live but I didn't catch the when or where of it. I should have called in to ask because I really wanted to see a live performance. Sadly, about a year later on January 6, 2006 Mr. Rawls passed away so I never got a second chance to go see him. I know it would have been a special day to see him perform live.

The Body of Christ

I'm a believer without being a conformist. I'm spiritual without being institutional. I pray when the mood strikes me and I don't feel any less Heaven bound for not dressing up and setting in a butt numbing pew two hours a week. I think one of the purposes of a church is to keep people focused. If they don't have a designated time and place to worship, their enthusiasm will wane and they'll just forget to care, maybe. It's all speculation. I believe that a lot of good people get what they need out of going to church, but there are also a few pious screwballs in the bunch.

I think with a little willpower and self motivation spirituality can be yours anywhere at all times. Don't get me wrong, if church works for a person, I say go. Definitely! Although I have no desire to join one (unless it be for strictly academic purposes) or to follow someone else's ideas on what is righteous. I do find churches and religions fascinating. The dynamics of Catholicism enthralls me. The tradition, the mechanics, the secrecy...

My own spirituality was sparked in a church. As a child, I went to a very small Baptist church in a speck on the map village. I sort of stumbled into religion. The preacher and his family lived three or so miles down the road and along the way he'd pick up kids that wanted to attend. I had fun at that church and probably without realizing it, the foundation of my belief system was fostered there.

I may be biased, but from what I remember the people who attended this church were genuinely nice. My fondest memory was of our communions. We periodically had communion in a relaxed atmosphere. We'd all stand up and gather close. Two members would walk around with platters, distributing 'the body' and 'the blood'. Being a small church, one lady, Mary Hamilton, was designated to bake 'the body' portion of our communion in the church kitchen, while 'the blood' was simply grape juice.

My cousin and I loved communion. The bread/cake stuff was delicious. It was like a really sweet unleavened bread. We'd worm up to the front of the group and pick the biggest chunks on the platter. That was some tasty Savior.

One time I'd gone to the kitchen after the service to help Mary clean up. I remember having ulterior motives.

I asked her "Mary, how do you make the communion bread?"

She looked at me wisely and said "It's the body of Christ."

I stared at her stunned for a moment. "I know, but the bread itself, what is it? It's really good."

She smiled and said, subtly stressing her words, "It's the body of Christ, dear."

I got it then. Mary had no intention of relenting that the stuff we took for communion was anything less than a mysterious representation of the actual body of Christ, let alone sharing the recipe with me.

I guess she didn't know or care that I was a kid who caught on fast and had never been one to entertain fanciful theories. I'd never even believed in Santa Clause, for Heaven's sakes!

That was years ago and Mary's long passed. I think of that little exchange once in a while and chuckle. But I sure wish I could've gotten that recipe out of her.